Resurrecting Redmane
by S. Vespertine
Summary: Tony and Pepper find an old pendant that belonged to his mother and aren't prepared for the consequences. Tony finds himself facing one of his greatest fears, which is tied to the most painful memory of his life. Tony hates horses - and it's Pepper who pays the price for it.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: **This was written as a gift for the Valentine's Day Gift Exchange Challenge at the_ its_always_been_ community.

The prompt was chosen from a list submitted by the lovely marienomad. She wanted:

"... **_A fic involving Pepper being turned into a horse. She could not talk but Tony knows about it. She will not be a magical pony but a regular horse. If she's a regular pony, that's okay too._**"

**Disclaimer:** Because in the times we live in, you can never seem to do anything without some sort of copyright rain descending upon your head. IRON MAN and its characters are property of MARVEL and associates. The OC's and the plot of this fic belong to me. Don't sue, and don't plagiarise.

* * *

><p><strong>PART ONE<strong>

Tony rifled through the contents of the antique wooden jewellery box, a pensive look on his face.

All of the jewellery inside had belonged to his mother, and they were rare, tasteful, and priceless pieces, all dating back to one era or other.

Pepper came back from the kitchen and placed his tea on the coffee table, settling on the sofa with her side flush against his. She sipped at her own tea, and leaned her head on his shoulder, stroking his knee with her free hand. "Found what you're looking for, yet?"

Tony sighed and briefly squeezed her hand, his steaming cup still untouched. "Not yet. My mother had numerous cases like this one, and she was so organised that she'd put them together in order of style and era. This is one of the older collections, and while they may be less flashy, they're…worth a lot."

Pepper turned to look at him. His mouth had taken on a gentle turn, and his eyes shined with remembrance. Tony seldom spoke of his parents, most of all his mother, but she sensed a great deal in his emotions regarding her. He didn't say it, but Pepper was sure that Tony had adored his mother through and through – all the more so because of the conflicting relationship he'd had with his father.

So she knew that when he talked about 'worth', he didn't necessarily mean the monetary kind.

What a can of worms lay there, she thought.

"Well, have you looked at the other boxes yet? If you describe what you're looking for, I'll help you search." She stroked his knee again and pressed her lips against his bicep. Tony was soaking it all up like a sponge. Despite their contrasting natures – he being a very physical person, she avoiding all unnecessary contact like the plague – the energy they had between each other was special and unique all on its own, compared to the relationships (or lack thereof) they'd had in the past. Growing comfortable with each other had taken time, but it was so natural.

One touch from her, when he was ill, when he was being fractious and difficult, when they were making love, and his skin seemed to sing. Sometimes, when he wasn't well, she stroked his brow and ran gentle fingers through his hair; this choked him up as much as it made him purr, because his mother had used to stroke him in just that way, soothing him through every fever, every tummy ache.

Pepper was the only woman he had cared for so deeply in all his life, apart from his mother, but that had been a different kind of love. He did _not_ regard Pepper as a substitute-maternal figure at all. No. That was a completely different fire.

Silently, he took one more jewellery box out of the chest lying open on the floor and handed it to her. She smiled at him as she took it and settled down more comfortably onto his side, balancing the box carefully on her knees.

As she carefully sifted through the contents, there was one piece that immediately caught her eye, in light of its difference when compared to the other objects.

Curiously, Pepper picked it up and inspected it in the light, turning it every which way to study it.

"Whatcha got there?" Tony leaned in and looked at the piece in her hands. Pepper glanced at him briefly. "This one is different to the others inside the box. They all have pearls except for this one, look."

Tony took held it up to the light. It was a pendant that was very, very old by the looks of it. It was made of a metal that he couldn't immediately identify, but which gleamed in the light despite its grimy appearance. Pepper handed him the soft cloth she'd dipped inside the cleaning jar, and he carefully cleaned the surface of the pendant.

"Did your mother like horses?"

Tony was startled by her words for a second. "Why do you ask?"

Pepper smiled at him patiently. "The pendant is the figure of a woman riding a horse."

"Oh. Yeah … Yeah, she did. She loved the smelly beasts."

Pepper frowned. And he'd seen that look before, on another's face. Uh-oh … here was another horse-lover, he thought.

"Horses are very noble, ancient animals, you know."

Yep. Definitely a horse-lover. Hmmph.

Tony grunted, staring at the pendant in his hands. He didn't look at all convinced.

"Do you know anything about this pendant?"

Tony shook his head. He barely remembered her wearing it when he was a child, but his mother had loved horses with the same passion he loved his cars. It was puzzling.

"I think it was definitely handed down to my mother through her side of the family; the Starks have never been great fans of horses, not since my great-great-grandfather."

Pepper frowned pensively. "Well it must have been of great sentimental value to her then, because the only worthy thing about it otherwise is that it is very, very old. I think it might be well into its hundred years of age."

Tony looked amusedly at her. "Is that another skill you've kept hidden from me all this time? You're a jewellery connoisseuse?"

Pepper scrunched her nose, mischief gleaming in her bright eyes. "No latent connoisseuse skill; just an ability to estimate how old things like this must be, just by design. I went through a stage in my teens where I was sure I would become a jewellery designer when I was older. I'd pore over books and books of ancient and modern jewellery alike, replicating the designs on paper and plastering them all over my room."

Tony blinked, trying to imagine the teen Pepper, all bright, thick hair and the long-limbed slenderness models in their twenties would have killed to have. She'd had a ponytail, and be neatly dressed, tucked away in her room drawing designs of necklaces and bracelets and pendants, tacking them onto her walls and surveying her work with that quirky twist to those kissable lips, as she decided whether she was satisfied with the results or not.

His eyes twinkled as he embraced her close to his chest, inhaling her flowery aroma.

"I can just imagine you as a teenager, all lissom curves, and bright hair, diligently working through your imagination until your mother had to come in and force you to go to bed."

Pepper smirked superiorly at him, her eyes revealing the fact that she was jesting.

"I think that description is more apt in regards to _you_, Tony. I always went to bed early on school nights so that I'd wake up refreshed and ready to take on the hardships of high school. I never needed my mother to come tear me away from my drawings for dinner or to get a shower."

Tony narrowed his eyes playfully and drew his lips along the velvety column of her throat, humming. "Is that right? You were a good little girl, weren't you? Never needed to be grounded or sent to bed without dessert, because your behaviour was irreprehensible even as a young lady? Not even an ickle speck of rebellion in those dreamy teens of yours?"

Pepper squeaked as his beard scraped her skin, feeling the warmth and rush of desire that inevitably followed whenever he touched her like this. She tamped it down.

"I was a rebellious child, but by the time I turned adolescent I'd already learned how to be responsible and level-headed."

Tony nibbled lightly on the spot under her ear, and delighted in her squeak and in the way her body squirmed deliciously against him.

"Whereas I was a terror up until my father shipped me to boarding school. He was probably relieved to have someone else deal with me."

They now lay back against the cushions, sweetly tangled in each other's embrace, basking in this rare moment of peace in their hectic lives. "And your mother?"

Tony hummed, stroking her hip and the contours of her flank, his fingers light, but knowing.

"She wasn't so pleased. She'd write to me every week, and at first I wouldn't write back because I thought I could punish my father for sending me away. Then I found out he kept tabs on me through the principal and my tutor, so … my correspondence with my mother was frequent, and I always replied to her letters within two days of receiving them."

Pepper sensed that he wasn't telling her everything. "You missed her, didn't you?"

Tony remained silent for a moment, and she knew how difficult it was for him to talk about these subjects, his childhood and his parents. She was patient and understanding, though. If he'd tell her something, she'd let him do it in his own time, and in his own way.

"She loved me. She loved me, and never tried to hide it. In a way, I think she was trying to make up for my father's shortcomings, but I … well… I loved her, too. She understood me in ways no one else seemed to be capable of. She would tell me stories of her childhood sometimes. She grew up on a vineyard in Italy, the only daughter of a wealthy man. The differences between her and my dad were staggering sometimes. She had a way of… I dunno, _reaching_ out towards others, like she just knew how to connect with you. My father, and his side of the family in general, were much more … austere. You know, much more reserved and restrained."

That's what Tony recalled most vividly about Maria. She'd been so vital, and inartificial, good to the people she held close, and generous to those who needed it. But perhaps that had been the case because she was much younger than Howard. He suspected it had more to do with her upbringing and her family, for they'd brought her up that way, extrovert and free. The Bardi's had only had one daughter, and they'd spoiled her rotten, but still she retained a steely core of morals that put everyone else's to shame. His father had had two brothers, both older than him, but Tony didn't know how close they'd been, because he'd never met them.

When he'd been sent to boarding school, the thing that hurt him most was that his father was shunning him once more, and taking him away from his beloved mother, who was the only one who had understood him, and who loved him without reservations, who was the constant rock and source of comfort in his life.

She'd never told him, but he suspected that this had caused a fissure in his parents' marriage, one that had never found healing. Maybe his father was jealous. Maybe he was jealous of the easy affection and ardent love between him and his mother. As a kid he'd thought Howard jealous of Maria devoting more time to Tony than to himself, but now he realised his old man had been jealous, if at all, of the relationship between Tony and his mother, because Howard himself wasn't capable of getting so close on the same level to his son as Maria. His father had grown up used to living with an austere and restrictive family, in a less-than-affectionate environment, and he probably hadn't wanted his only son to grow up spoiled and unrestrained the way Maria wanted.

No, not Tony. Tony had to become great, had to develop and nurture his talent right from the go, because a mind like his could do great things for the future.

Howard probably hadn't realised he was taking Tony's childhood away from him. And that, his mother could not forgive.

He was brought out of his reverie as Pepper picked up the pendant again and fingered the relief on the surface. It was of excellent craftsmanship, and the beauty of the woman's face was truly exquisite.

"I never could understand why my mother loved the damned beasts so much. As far as I'm concerned, all they're good for is to stink up the place and drop enormous heaps of dung everywhere. My mother used to take me to this private estate of hers when I was a child. Dad would be too busy with the company and his work, so we'd go up to Apronian House in the weekend, where she had her own stable and three horses. There, she'd ride and ride to her heart's content, and she always encouraged me to share her passion for horses, but I never went near 'em."

Pepper nuzzled his jaw with the tip of her nose and pressed her lips beneath it. Tony almost – _almost_ – purred. There was always a conflict within him. Thanks to his mother's upbringing, Tony liked physical contact, but experiences with his father had taught him that it was more desirable for a man to not be so touchy-feely and that aspiring to have a certain level of aloofness was what got you approval.

But Pepper … she had a way about her that made him want the physical contact more than he generally did, made him crave and long for it.

Plus, he knew that her own nature tended to make her shy away; Pepper wasn't the cuddly and clingy type. She just knew him well enough to realise when he needed affection, petting him almost like she did her cat, when she sensed it would do him good.

"Did you have a bad experience with a horse, or did you just not like them on a much more basic level?" She was curious as to his strong aversion of horses. It didn't sound like mere disgust and indifference; he sounded like he tried to be flippant about something that secretly upset him a great deal.

"Well … there was this one time, but…I mean, it was so long ago, but for some reason it just – stuck with me … I was er, perhaps four years old, and mother had bought this little … pony, for me to ride, and I truly loved it, because at that time I wanted nothing more than to copy what she did. She looked amazing on a horse, it was like the animal was just an extension of her will, and the two understood each other perfectly. Anyway, I mounted the pony and had fun walking around with her hanging onto the reins from astride her own mount, but then … I think my father was truly scared of horses. When he came out of the house, he yelled at us, wanting me to get off the pony, and it spooked him badly. All I could was to hold on to the pony's mane as he shot off away from my mother's horse and started down the field. I managed to hold onto that horse for two minutes, I think, before I got so scared that I stiffened up, and … next thing I knew, my father was bending over me, and I was on the ground – I remember thinking that I didn't like the noises my mother was making, because they meant she was sad and scared … so… right?"

Pepper looked at him solemnly and nodded her understanding. It went without saying that that was the last time he ever mounted a horse. In a way, it didn't surprise her that Tony got his aversion/fear of horses from his father.

Tony thought back to the time Howard – and this was _very_ rare – spoke to him, telling him that when his mother was pregnant with him, she still rode her horses for the first few months, and that he was very angry with her for doing it because he was afraid for her and their baby's safety.

Again, the age gap between Howard and Maria seemed to become more prominent, because she was young and carefree and just wanted to ride, whereas he was older and much more restrained, and feared she'd get hurt. He supposed Howard's thinking was right, it could be dangerous for a pregnant woman to ride a horse, but then his mother had never liked anyone telling her what she couldn't do. Tony was like her in that respect, too.

He looked down at the pendant again. He seemed to recall something about his mother always wearing the pendant when she rode her horses because she thought it would protect her and give the horse peace when they galloped.

And just like that, he was angry.

He tossed the pendant back onto the coffee table, where it landed with a dull _chink_, but he didn't care. All this remembrance was hurting him. He was tired of it.

"My mother used to believe that the pendant would protect her when she was riding, so she always put it on. My father knew better than to tell her she shouldn't ride so recklessly, but she knew he disapproved. When I was younger, it'd be fun to do things with her we knew Dad wouldn't approve of, just to rile him up. But when I got older, I could see that in a way he was right, because she _was_ reckless when she rode on the damn things. They-"

Tony couldn't speak past the tennis ball in his throat, and tried to swallow down the constricting feeling.

And suddenly Pepper knew.

Her heart constricted too. "What happened to your mother, Tony? Did she hurt herself whilst riding?"

Tony was silent for a moment, but she already knew that what he was about to tell her wouldn't be good. When he spoke, his tone was low and spoke of pain, and deep resentment. "No, she didn't get hurt whilst riding. They both had an accident. The same one that killed them."

His eyes stung bitterly as he tried to stop the tears from falling. His hands unconsciously clenched into fists and he stared down at his lap. Pepper's heart ached with sorrow as she watched him. Tony had never truly accepted his parents' death. But it was only now that she began to understand better, and glimpse at the boy that still lurked within him. And she could see the devastation, the rage, the pain, that accompanied that boy. It was all festering inside him.

"It was stormy when it happened. They'd had another fight, of that I was sure, because she only ever went back to Apronian House when she needed to cool off from a fight with Dad. Her horses were the only thing that soothed her. But she shouldn't have been driving, because the roads were in bad condition, and it was pouring torrents form the sky. That's where she was going. To her horses. I was away at college. I was seventeen years old, and full of charm and felt like the world was laid at my feet. She wanted me to come home that weekend, but I didn't want anything to do with that…it would just mean her with the horses, my father riding my ass about term-papers, and I didn't want any of it."

So Maria had accused Howard of making Tony want to stay away from his own family. Tony knew this, because she'd phoned him that afternoon, crying, and telling him that she knew he didn't want to come home because of his father, and she was pleading with him because she wanted to see him, and they were his family, and-

His stomach twisted as he remembered, and guessed at what must have happened next.

Maria accused Howard of being the reason their son didn't want to come home. Howard must have probably shrugged in cold indifference, immersed as he must have been in semester reports, blue prints, and fifty-year old scotch. She must have worked herself up into quite a state. Tony found this the hardest to accept now, years after their deaths. He had become a selfish little prick, and hadn't wanted to see how much his distance was hurting his mother – Tony, who had been the apple of his mother's eyes.

Then they probably argued, until Maria told Howard that she was leaving. Howard tended to become more resentful in his barbs when he was drinking, so he must have said something about her going back to her precious smelly beasts. And then Maria must have sped off into the dark rainy night, intent on reaching that haven of peace for her that Apronian House, where she had her grounds, and her horses, and could be content, at peace.

His father obviously followed her in another of their cars, and the angered chase had resulted in the tragedy that had left Tony an orphaned, bitterly devastated young man.

So yeah, he _didn't_ like horses.

He blamed his mother for going out at all that night. She had promised him, _promised him_, that she would always be there. But she'd left him.

And his father … this was bitterest of all, because it was Howard that had driven Maria away into the storm that night. Whatever his conflicting emotions on the days straight after their deaths, Tony's hatred for the horses had intensified. Before Obie found out about it, Tony took his father's gun from his study. Then he drove over Apronian House and there … he shot to death the last remaining things of his mother that still lived.

And after the rage had dissipated, Tony had been so ashamed of what he'd done, that he shut up Apronian House for good, and never returned to it again.

Those horses … she had loved those horses so, so much … and in the end her own son had killed them.

"For all I care, horses could rot in hell. I don't want them anywhere near me, not now, not _ever_. They are vile, useless animals that are of no use to anyone. If a great ball of fire would drop down from the sky and decimate them all, I'd say good fucking riddance."

Sometimes, instead of carrying the burden that comes with feeling shame, it is easier to remove the guilt in the first place, to remove the cause for the pain.

Far, far away, into another realm of reality, the goddess protector and patroness of horses, Epona, heard Tony Stark utter the vile oath. The pendant had special qualities that enabled her to look down upon the owner, and bless them if they deserved it.

But Tony Stark did not deserve her blessing.

And in that moment, she uttered an oath of her own. Tony Stark never wanted horses to go near him, did he? He would rejoice at their extinction, would he?

Epona frowned stormily, already setting the plan into motion.

She would teach this puny human to respect that most noble of creatures to walk the earth. Let's see how turning his beloved lover into the creature he reviled affected him.

* * *

><p><strong>End of part one. R&amp;R!<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: **This was written as a gift for the Valentine's Day Gift Exchange Challenge at the_ its_always_been_ community.

The prompt was chosen from a list submitted by the lovely marienomad. She wanted:

"... **_A fic involving Pepper being turned into a horse. She could not talk but Tony knows about it. She will not be a magical pony but a regular horse. If she's a regular pony, that's okay too._**"

**Disclaimer:** Because in the times we live in, you can never seem to do anything without some sort of copyright rain descending upon your head. IRON MAN and its characters are property of MARVEL and associates. The OC's and the plot of this fic belong to me. Don't sue, and don't plagiarise.

* * *

><p><strong>PART TWO<strong>

Pepper sat momentarily stunned at the vicious quality of Tony's voice. She knew and understood the crippling pain he felt, and tried to just write it off as something one would say when they're angry. But she couldn't. She loved him too much to allow him to do that to himself.

"Tony-"

He cut her off and moved away from her, rising onto his feet. His back was turned to her and he wouldn't look at her face. "Look, we've been sitting here gossiping like a pair of old ladies who have nothing better to look forward to than a run-in with their favourite soap opera, so let's just get this done."

Pepper squashed the hurt down. He knew she would not approve of his behaviour, but despite being in a relationship, Tony still reverted back to doing things now and again that he knew she wouldn't like. Right now all he cared about was his own agenda.

She rose, intent on leaving the room before it steeped into a fight – she so didn't want a fight – and smoothed her hands down her legs, a nervous habit of hers. She looked at the offending pendant laying beseechingly on the table, and reacted out of instinct when she noticed his large hand inching toward it. She got the sudden image of him – and it was irrational, really – taking the pendant and throwing it away in his anger, never sparing a look or chance towards it. Tony could be so cutting in his anger when it was fuelled by pain; and it would all return onto himself to hurt him more. She knew that if she allowed him to throw away a thing his mother had treasured so much, she would be hating herself for a long time. Being with Tony also entailed doing what she knew he wouldn't like but that was for his own good.

She snatched the pendant off the table and cradled it protectively in her hand, the metal warm from being exposed to direct sunlight. It was a surprisingly heavy feel in her small hand, and she caught herself wondering what it would feel like to have this dangling from her neck.

"Tony, don't! I can't let you do this!"

Tony looked at her in astonishment. "What?"

Pepper looked at him in wariness, but her stance held strength. "I know you're very angry about what happened, and you have every entitlement to your feelings, but if you throw this away, you will never forgive yourself. And I will never forgive myself for letting you."

Tony regarded her steadily, and she got the distinct impression that he was wondering about her sanity. "What the hell are you talking about? I wasn't going to throw it away!"

Pepper stood still for a moment.

The pinking of her skin was unmistakeable as it heated her face. How embarrassing. Tony looked at her highly amused, but his smile was also tinged with affection. "Did you think I was picking it up to throw it away? Pepper, that is a family heirloom that has been in my mother's family for god-knows how many generations – and most importantly, it was beloved by my mother. I wouldn't throw it away!"

She regarded him dubiously, because he sounded just a little too cajoling. Come on, give it to me, I'm not gonna do anything to it, I swear. Yeah right. Why else would you want it? To pet it?

She stiffened her shoulders and stuck her righteous nose up in the air, regarding him loftily, a beacon of morality. "Good. Then you won't mind if I hang onto it, do you? Just for a little while. I think I'm going to wear it, too."

Tony clearly thought she'd lost her mind, but found it rightly prudent to not laugh at her absurdity.

"Of course. By all means, hang onto it. I think I'd very much like to see it on you, actually. There's plenty more where that came from, so you can have it, if you want."

Oh, that was low. After all this time, he still thinks he can challenge her – and _win_?

Fine. If that's how he wanted it.

She spoke coolly, her eyes matching her voice, trying to call his bluff. Tony could never gamble very well without his sunglasses hiding his far-too expressive eyes. What, you thought he wore them playing poker and at the casinos because it made him look cool? Snort.

"Very well then. I'm glad we have this matter settled. I need to make a few phone calls."

And with that she pivoted on her heel and left the room, her head held high and her spine straight – but not stiff. Tony shook his head wryly, feeling like he'd just been had, but couldn't for the life of him figure out how.

Life with Pepper was exciting and completed him in a way nothing else ever had. She still kept him dancing on his toes, and he always enjoyed challenging her, she made it fun. But he didn't like arguing with her, not really. He knew firsthand the disjointed sense of being lost whenever she'd left him. Case in point, when he'd purposefully driven her away on his birthday because he was dying, only to find out there was hope after all, he hadn't speeded his way back to her like a homing pigeon because he needed to have her fix things for him. That was just the moment he realised with a most profound sense of urgency that he _needed_ her. So. Much.

He wasn't like his father.

He didn't pick a fight just for the hell of it.

Tony cleared his throat and immediately busied himself with the rest of the chest's contents, worriedly wondering that if he denied it so much, was it because he truly was?

* * *

><p>That night he tossed and turned, but couldn't sleep.<p>

A sense of disquiet had taken over him in the afternoon, and he couldn't shake off the funny feeling that he was on the cusp of something that was about to happen. Hell if he knew why that was. After returning from a gruelling mission, his bruised body had demanded nothing more than to snuggle down into his comfy orthopaedic bed, which is where he was now. So why couldn't he sleep?

He tried not to glare at the obvious reason for that, refusing to turn his head in that direction.

Pepper wasn't lying beside him, that's why. She'd gone home after reassuring herself that he was relatively unhurt. He felt like a little boy again as he watched her leave, feeling sad that he'd done something wrong.

_Bad boy_.

_Stop it, Howard, he is not a bad boy – Tony you didn't do anything wrong, honey._

Tony had asked Pepper if she was mad at him, and she assured him in that cool tone of voice that she had no reason to be. But to his mind it sounded like: there is no reason for me to _be_ mad at you, but that doesn't mean that I'm _not_.

Of course life would have it that the only woman he had ever fallen in love with, in the most adult and truest sense of the term, would also be the one to reduce him to feeling like a scolded five year old again. She humbled him. There couldn't possibly be anyone else out there, for him, more right than Pepper. He just wished it wasn't so _painful_ being so much in love with her, being so much in need of her presence in his life. He'd found the stabilising rock that held him grounded once more, only for the second time in his life. And he was getting paranoid.

Because look what happened the first time.

Grrr. Why couldn't he stop thinking about something bad happening to Pepper?

She just needed to move him with him, that's all, he tried to reason. Then he wouldn't worry about her safety so much, because no house inMalibuwas safer than his, with JARVIS manning the security systems.

Stop it, Stark. She'll move in when she's ready.

Get.

To.

Sleep. Dammit!

He huffed and turned gingerly onto his side. And then he sat bolt upright. He had never been startled so badly inside his own home, so this was like having a mini heart attack. There was a woman standing not ten feet away from the bed, watching him.

"Who the hell are you? How'd you get inside my home? JARVIS-"

"Oh, do shut up. How do you talk and talk and _talk_ so much, human? Can you hear at all yourself thinking over the noise of your chatter?"

Tony blinked owlishly. What the wh-

"Who are you?"

The woman – who by the way was breathtaking but in a strange sort of way, and he wasn't interested whatsoever, because he was faithfully set on being a one-woman (or more likely only-Pepper) kind of guy. Plus she was staring at him, and it made him squirm. He felt like he was back in that cave. He felt like his life was no longer his own, being scrutinised by her as he was now.

She did not open her mouth again, but somehow his brain could hear her voice.

_I have come to exact retribution, Anthony, upon your head. You have insulted that which I hold most dear, and you are a deplorable human for ever wishing so badly of them. You have slighted me personally in your slurs against them, and now I am come to extort from you that which I feel could only be justice. I have come to make you feel the very thing you never wanted to feel in your life._

Tony remained silent.

JARVIS too, remained silent. And that was ominous. Either she'd found a way to shut him down, and that's how she got inside his home undetected in the first place, or…

He was simply dreaming.

Yeah, that had to be it.

Her hair was so white it was the colour of the moonlight, though it fell long on her waist, and her face was that of a young woman in her prime. There was something almost unnatural about her eyes, but from this distance, Tony could only tell that they unsettled him, because he couldn't make out what was probably a strange hue. They seemed to glow eerily across the bed to him, despite the darkness of the room. The light of his arc reactor barely seemed to touch her, as though it, too, didn't dare to go near her.

_You think this is a dream? Very well, we shall see how you feel when you wake up._

For the first time Tony found his voice. If it was indeed a dream, then he could see no harm in talking to her. He ignored the spooked sensation on the nape of his neck and spoke. "Who are you? Why are you here?"

_You owe me a sacrifice. I have come to collect it now._

"What the hell does that mean? I've never seen you before in my entire life." He spoke with much more strong conviction than he felt at that moment. Her looking at him made him want to burrow under the covers and hide from the monsters in the closet. He didn't like it.

_Nor would you have ever laid eyes upon me, if it weren't for the things you said this morning. Don't be so arrogant as to assume in your presumption that I walk this earth meeting with creatures of your species!_

"I still don't understa-"

_Be quiet human, and listen closely. You insulted the very existence of my beloved creatures, and wished a most heinous end to their existence on this earth. I cannot allow that to go unpunished. And your punishment will begin tomorrow, but who knows how long it will last?_

"What do you mean my pu- _what_ are you talking about? What punishment?"

_You insulted that noblest and ancient creature, the equus nobilis, more vulgarly referred to as 'horse'. And for that, you will be punished._

"How-"

_I said listen, human!_

_You think I don't know of the things you said and wished onto them? I have eyes and ears everywhere. You have your dear mother to thank for this, because it is my pendant, which was in her possession, that allowed me this discovery. _

_What's done is done. And now you must suffer the consequences._

Tony remained stonily silent, no longer wishing to remain asleep.

_One more thing, human._

_When was the last time you _spoke_ to your beloved? I would check up on her if I were you. Didn't you have a bad feeling at the beginning of the night? Believe me, it is justified. _

_We'll meet again, soon._

And Tony bolted upright. He felt the mattress under him, and the sheets had twisted around his body, smothering all movement. He was sweating, and felt the chill of the night air. His bedroom looked innocently as it always did, minus absurd to believe intruders. He ordered JARVIS to turn on the lights, and blinked blearily at the change from dark to light.

"JARVIS, has anyone broken inside the house?"

"I cannot imagine that anyone ever would, sir. Your flawless design for security measures along with my impeccable execution is fool-proof against all unauthorised persons entering the grounds."

Tony breathed shakily. "Perhaps, if you allow me so, sir, you simply had a nightmare? I'm picking up signs of distress in your breathing and heart rate at the moment, and since you were asleep until a minute ago, you have had a nightmare."

Tony felt dazed. "Yeah…you're right. Always the logical one, JARVIS. Thanks."

"I exist to serve and please, sir."

Tony ignored what may have been a little sarcasm on JARVIS' part and lay down again. Being half three in the morning, of course it was impossible for him to pick up the phone and-

Ho, no you can't do that, Stark. She's asleep. And you're just being paranoid, she's perfectly alright, otherwise JARVIS would have alerted you immediately, as per your instructions.

He needed to get some rest, pronto.

But the sense of chilled disquiet would not relent its hold.

Without knowing how it happened, Tony fell asleep.

* * *

><p>The next thing he knew was that JARVIS was chiming in his usual waking up morning ritual. Tony looked at the time and felt thankful that he'd managed to get to sleep in the end.<p>

He roused himself and set about dressing.

He didn't know why he was doing things particularly quickly today, since there were no pressing matters to attend to on his agenda, and Pepper wasn't there to rush him along.

And that's when he recalled the weird dream he'd had. Tony frowned. He must have been more tired than he thought because that had been one hell of an imaginative dream. At least he'd dreamed of a beautiful woman, instead of dreaming of a beautiful man, he reasoned with himself.

But now the unsettled feeling in the pit of his stomach was back. He went downstairs and for ten minutes he wandered from spot to spot, from room to room, purposelessly. He didn't know what to do with himself, and the tension inside him demanded that he move continuously.

Tony grabbed his phone and dialled her number.

As the phone rang, and the seconds ticked by, he began to grow more agitated, because it had never happened that she delayed so much in answering that phone of hers, which was practically an extension of her arm and joined at her hip.

Tony tried to tell himself, rationally, that nothing was wrong, even if things were out of the ordinary, that she could have had a hundred different reasons for not answering right away. Next he rang her house phone, but still no luck. He became more frustrated when her voicemail kicked in, and left her a terse message. Perhaps she was in the shower. Yeah, that was it, she was just in the shower and couldn't obviously get to either phone. He should just wait a little longer, and then she'd call him back.

All the same, he made sure with JARVIS that his schedule that day did not require him to show up to meetings and briefings over at the company.

Half an hour later Tony was definitely worried, and practically vibrated in agitated tension. She still hadn't called back, and he didn't know how many times he'd called her. Suddenly he snapped. The growing sick feeling in his stomach told him he'd wasted enough time as it was, and that he had to get over there _now_.

He quickly had JARVIS run a search of her phone's location with GPS, and he confirmed that her phone was in her residence. Grabbing his own phone and the jacket, Tony sped out of the garage, tires squealing. He had a bad feeling about this.

Navigating the early morning traffic was no problem to him, and soon he was parked outside her house. When he rang the doorbell, one of the tenants let him up, and he bounded up those stairs like the devil was after him, too anxious to bear being closed inside a slow elevator. Reaching her landing, he noticed the first thing. Her door was closed, and there were no signs of breaking and entering. He quickly checked her security system with his Starkphone, and was satisfied to see that nothing had indeed happened. He'd installed the security system himself, with a relay feed travelling back to JARVIS that kept him alert at all times.

He had the spare key inside his jeans pocket, and he used it to open the door. Inside the hallway, no immediate signs of anything wrong were present. He quickly stepped into the living room, and saw that it was very dark. The curtains she pulled closed every night were still drawn from last night, he assumed. He touched nothing, but noted the flash of her voicemail light blinking.

"Pepper?"

He walked her rooms calling her, his voice raising gradually, his heart in his throat. She wasn't in the kitchen, but then he noticed something out of the corner of his eye. If it weren't for the bright contrast of red on light surface, he probably wouldn't have noticed immediately. He felt his blood run cold, a difficult feat with the arc reactor running inside his chest. There were broken shards of glass on the floor surrounding what looked to be juice of some kind. And there was a bright red slash on one of the cupboard doors. It was blood. And it was dry.

"PEPPER! Where are you?"

Tony quickly left the kitchen and headed towards her bedroom. On the way there he stopped momentarily to look at the small table in the corridor. Its contents were spilled haphazardly across the surface, and the rest lay scattered on the floor. Including her phone, which had a small crack on the screen, and flashed repeatedly from unanswered incoming calls. His calls. He practically banged the door to her bedroom open, lungs seizing as he imagined her lying on the floor, hurt or unconscious. But there was no one there. Her bed was unmade with the a corner of the duvet pulled back slightly. But it didn't look like anyone had slept in it last night.

"Oh god, what-"

_What the hell happened?_

**_Where_**_ is she?_

Her clothes from yesterday were neatly folded on the armchair next to the dresser, but her shoes were laying one behind the chair, the other under the window. It didn't make any sense. He couldn't find her pyjamas anywhere, so she must still have had them on when-

When what, damn it?

The en-suite bathroom door was slightly open, and he shuddered because he knew that logically there was no other place for her to be. He ate up the steps and slammed that door open as well.

He froze. And his heart seemed to all but sink down to the pit of his stomach.

Her pyjama pants lay discarded on the floor, but they were torn and the bright red on the pale blue was sickening. It, too, was dry here.

No Pepper.

He was losing his mind, he knew he was, he knew he'd go crazy if he didn't know where she was right this second-

Her car had been parked in its usual spot, so what- oh, god he couldn't think straight. Her phone was still in her house, as were her keys and wallet. Her car was still outside. There was no sign of anyone breaking inside her apartment, but no sign of Pepper either. And there were traces of blood in two of the rooms of her house, even a pair of dismantled pyjama pants. But that was all. There was no sign of her. Like she'd just disappeared.

Tony sought and fought to remain calm. She needed him to remain calm.

He quickly backed out into the corridor, intent on knocking on every door of the building to see if anyone had seen her- but then he noticed her standing next to the windows in her study.

And for a second, his mind could not comprehend what it was he was seeing, because this was a nightmare, this was the nightmare he'd had last night, it wasn't real, she-

She couldn't be standing there in her home.

And yet there she stood.

White-haired woman.

And the smile on her face, all gleaming teeth and mocking triumph screamed to him of danger, and assault, because he would-

_Sit down, Anthony._

_And__ no, this isn't a dream. I told you that last night._

* * *

><p><strong>End of part two. R&amp;R!<strong>_  
><em>


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: **This was written as a gift for the Valentine's Day Gift Exchange Challenge at the_ its_always_been_ community.

The prompt was chosen from a list submitted by the lovely marienomad. She wanted:

"... **_A fic involving Pepper being turned into a horse. She could not talk but Tony knows about it. She will not be a magical pony but a regular horse. If she's a regular pony, that's okay too._**"

**Disclaimer:** Because in the times we live in, you can never seem to do anything without some sort of copyright rain descending upon your head. IRON MAN and its characters are property of MARVEL and associates. The OC's and the plot of this fic belong to me. Don't sue, and don't plagiarise.

* * *

><p><strong>PART THREE<strong>

**.**

**.**

"What. The. Fuck-"

_Ah-ah! Language! Remember _who _you're talking to, human. Looking for your dearie Virginia, are you?_

"Who the fuck are you! What have you done with Pepper!" Tony clenched his fists, and prayed fervently that she stayed where she was, because he's never, ever even thought about hitting a woman, not once in his entire life, but today seemed like a good day to do it.

_Please, Anthony. You really think you could ever come so close as to actually lay a finger on me? I thought you uncommonly intelligent for your species, if not smart. Am I to understand that was a miscalculation on my part? It happens, I suppose. One never knows with your kind._

"I want answers, and I want them **NOW**! **What have you done to Pepper?"**

_All in good time, Anthony. Really, I'm being far too kind in all of this. I should not have returned, I should have simply let it all run its course without a further word or hint from me, but I wanted to make sure more than anything that you got my message._

His eyes smouldered and were frightening in their violence, his body wired and tense ready to spring into action and cause _damage_.

"Where. Is. Pepper."

She smiled again, and that awful show of all her teeth was the thing that made him feel as though he was an insect, and despite the crippling pain she was giving him, it was about to get a whole lot worse. His desire to hurt her rose, and his body cried out for her blood in the wake of the perceived threat to his mate.

_Virginia is not here, as you have gathered. But I am. Would you like to leave her a message, Anthony? I'll be sure that she gets it._

Tony roared and dove for her. His body sprung tightly and he prepared to tackle her to the ground, his hands opening wide in order to grab her and inflict damage-

But they closed over thin air and he landed, stunned, with a thud onto the thin rug. White-hair woman had literally vanished into thin air at the last possible second.

This couldn't be real, it just couldn't be!

_Get up off that floor now, Anthony, and if you keep your mouth shut and your body to yourself, I will be magnanimous and decide to ignore what you've just tried to do._

He rose again and stared at her, disconcerted and frightened.

_I am the goddess Epona. Do you recall our meeting last night? Yes, I see you do in your own way. Allow me to remind you then, of the reason I have come to you in the first place. When you took that pendant of your mother's out of the box it was kept in, I could see and hear all that happened. I could see you, and hear what you said about horses. Your violent hatred and wish to see them all extinct were things I could not tolerate. You had to be punished for slighting me. One does not say the things you did, within my hearing, and simply get away with it._

"Let's admit for a second that what you're telling me is the truth. If you've come to punish me, what does this have anything to do with Pepper? She's done nothing wrong! If it's me you want, leave her out of this!"

_Anthony, Anthony._

_Virginia_is_ your punishment._

_Ah yes, your heart cannot take such pain, can it? Even now as we communicate, it is crying out for your mate to be returned to you safe and sound, and for retribution to be meted out, swiftly. Imagine then what I must have felt when you did what you did. Therein lies the reason why this could not be allowed to pass. Pain, suffering … they are such great motivators for striking out to seek revenge, are they not?_

Tony's face was pale, as he imagined all the things she could have done to Pepper and could still be doing-

"What have you done with her? Where is she!"

_I bestowed upon her a great honour, indeed. To be, to walk, to see, to feel the world as horses do, indeed living inside their skin, is an experience that everyone should have on this wretched earth. As to where she is, I simply sent her on her merry way where she would most feel comfortable in her new skin, to one of the last few places in this world where horses still run wild and free._

_Are you satisfied? No? But I am only just beginning, Anthony._

For a moment, Tony was sure, sure above anything in the world, that he must have gone mad. He could not have heard her right. He could not have heard her say that Pepper-

_Would you like to see it, Anthony? See, I knew your wretched species in this day and age, dependent as you are on only believing in what's blatantly in front of you, would require physical proof, so I took the liberty of … what is the term you use, to… record it? Go ahead, it is all there, in that shiny mirror that moves, the one on that table._

She pointed at Pepper's laptop, which he only just noticed was switched on. Unsteadily, and feeling very much like his world had been ripped apart and would now be ripped out from under his feet, he made his way over to the computer. There was a video program window open on the monitor, and he pressed play, feeling like an automaton.

The video footage was brief, but starkly detailed and it left no chance for escape. Or room for denial. It showed Pepper staggering from room to room, dressed in her pyjamas. She looked ill, like her skin was stretched too tightly over her body, and the way she repeatedly bumped into doorways and into the furniture, like she was blind-

The breath seemed to rush out of his body and never wish to return. In the macabre video, cruelly dispassionate about all the details it caught, Pepper was clearly in pain and in a disoriented state of mind. It was like her senses, like her sight, were altered somehow, because she couldn't seem to see obstacles in her path in order to avoid bumping painfully into them, and couldn't seem to find it in her to speak coherent words, because all the noise her mouth emitted sounded like that of a frightened creature. And when she started curling up on her bathroom floor, clearly in physical pain, Tony realised there were tears scalding his face as they leaked from his eyes.

The rest showed Pepper's body stretching and transforming, mutating into that of an animal, and it was too horrible for him to fully look at. He shut the monitor abruptly and leaned heavily onto the desk for support, crying and gasping for breath, for strength.

What have you done to her? What have you done to her? What have you _done_, what have you done, what have you – _Pepper, god, NO! _NO!

When he turned his eyes on her, they were so malevolent that any other would have shuddered in fear, but she was above him and his species, and regarded him coolly, holding his gaze and never flinching away from the sheer hatred in his eyes as they snapped daggers at her.

"You give her back to me. You bring her back, put her right, return her to how she was! GIVE HER BACK TO ME!"

_I bend to no one's will, Anthony. Shouting and violence, though possibly understandable in this situation, will get you nowhere. And you will have to be careful of what you do now, now that you have seen what Virginia has become._

When he paled even more in fury and the violence threatened to explode out of him, she warned him icily to keep his cool.

_I told you I would punish you. I told you I would not let this go. _

"Then you should have done that to ME! You had no right to involve her! Take ME, punish ME, not her! Bring her BACK!"

_I _am _punishing _you_, Anthony. Rest assured that I knew the best way to act was to take your beloved mate; only then would you really suffer, and my desire for justice would be satiated. In getting to her, I am undoubtedly getting to you. She simply happens to be enjoying the experience more than others could in these circumstances. And the only thing that protected her truly from my wrath was that she loves my creatures and all animals, and is a gentle soul who could never harm them. How does it feel to have the thing you love most and treasure above all … turned into the thing you hate and abhor most?_

Tony cried silently. All he could think about was Pepper-

"What do you want me to do? Where is she?"

_I have sent her to one of the states in your country where a particular species, the mustang, still roams the wild planes freely. I believe it is called 'Why-omm-ing'. If you take the pendant, and wear it around your neck, the way your devout mother used to, that is all you will need to find her. And if you truly want her returned to you in the state she was, you have to love her without restraints despite her current nature. But whether you will be capable of that or not, is up to you. Farewell._

And in the next instant, she was gone. Simply snuffed out of existence as though she'd never been there in the first place, a mere apparition.

Tony slumped heavily onto the sofa in the living room, screwing his eyes shut against the ghastly images of Pepper being turned into a horse shunting their way into his brain, and branding his heart with a pain so crippling that he couldn't think straight.

Putting aside the sheer absurdity of it all, Tony finally rose, and with a look of sheer loathing, picked up the pendant the goddess had left for him, and put it inside his pocket.

He straightened out Pepper's things, cleaned the blood from the kitchen and the broken glass, and went outside into the landing. He shut the door and activated the code linked to 'vacation'.

As he tore through the streets, his brain told him that all he needed to focus on was to find her. By the time he got to his home, he'd already planned out his next move, and hopefully with JARVIS' help, he could figure out a way out of this.

But at least one thing was clear; he had to get to Wyoming and find Pepper.

* * *

><p>The first thing he did was to tell JARVIS everything that had happened as soon as he got home. He'd taken Pepper's computer with him, so JARVIS also viewed that video where-<p>

He couldn't think about that now.

Within half an hour, he'd arranged for wheels up on his plane that same day. He contacted SI and let them know that Pepper had had a family emergency and would not be reached in the next few days, so all calls were to be diverted to his house. JARVIS would keep him updated of all important developments, so that he would only need to worry about stepping away from his search if it was absolutely vital. Next, he left a terse and brief message with Agent Coulson to inform him that he was leaving the state should S.H.I.E.L.D. need him, but did not tell him what had happened.

He briefly thought about calling Rhodey, but then remembered he was busy on secret AirForce stuff and wouldn't be back into town for another two days.

He packed sensible clothing into a bag and all the small items he deemed necessary or helpful. What he truly couldn't decide was whether he should take the 'football' or not. But he didn't waste much time over that internal debate. He agreed with JARVIS that the suit could fly to him should it be necessary, controlled by JARVIS, and reach him in less than thirty minutes.

Putting the house on lockdown until he came back, the last thing Tony did was to leave a message with Happy to let him know that he could take a few days of paid vacation until he returned.

* * *

><p><strong>End of part three. R&amp;R!<strong>


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: **This was written as a gift for the Valentine's Day Gift Exchange Challenge at the_ its_always_been_ community.

The prompt was chosen from a list submitted by the lovely marienomad. She wanted:

"... **_A fic involving Pepper being turned into a horse. She could not talk but Tony knows about it. She will not be a magical pony but a regular horse. If she's a regular pony, that's okay too._**"

**Disclaimer:** Because in the times we live in, you can never seem to do anything without some sort of copyright rain descending upon your head. IRON MAN and its characters are property of MARVEL and associates. The OC's and the plot of this fic belong to me. Don't sue, and don't plagiarise.

* * *

><p><strong>PART FOUR<strong>

**.**

**.**

Landing in Wyoming made the anxiety in his chest stronger, if anything.

Thankfully his father owned a ranch in the state, or this would have been all that more difficult. That's where he was headed now.

His fingers clasped and repeatedly rubbed the pendant, hoping against all hope that he could 'get' something, some kind of clue as to where to begin the search. This still felt so surreal, but he could no longer pass it off as a weird dream. And he didn't want to focus too much on the connotations this situation held for him and his history; that was a can of worms that would have to be dealt with the minute it was pried open.

He had to concentrate; the only thing that mattered now was finding her.

He looked at the picture printed from a still of the video, where the horse was shown clearly in all its … glory.

It was funny how it was all coming back to him despite all these years, rather like riding a bike. By the looks of her, she'd been turned into a dappled roan, so at least he knew what to look for.

JARVIS had come up with a list of county fairs and the like where he could begin searching, should the pendant pointing device fail. After all, just because the goddess had given him a few pointers, it didn't mean that he should not look into alternate routes.

If the ranch hands thought it odd that he should be in residence after so many years, they didn't let on. The housekeeper looked puzzled but pleased to see him – and undoubtedly that was because after all this time, she finally had an occupied house and its master to look after.

Tony summoned Brady to his office.

He didn't waste time with chitchat or exchanging pleasantries, and Brady clearly understood that whatever the reason Tony was back, it was very important. He took the photo of the mare and set to work searching, delegating to the other guys on the ranch and a few contacts he had outside.

* * *

><p><em>Day One<em> –

…and Tony had not slept in – well, a while. Reports on the search had been sporadic and naturally unsuccessful. He had not truly expected to find her so quickly. But the prospect looming before him – that this could take weeks – was not something he could bear to think about too much.

And also, thinking about – _imagining_ – the state Pepper must be in, where she could be, whether she was alright – it about killed him.

JARVIS kept him updated on the home front, and he too was running a virtual search in fairs and auction websites, looking for a match.

Tony wandered around the grounds, feeling things he didn't even know how to describe. There were so many emotions. But whatever one did in such a situation – if, indeed this kind of thing had happened before, and he strongly doubted it had – he seemed to be handling this fairly well, in a … reasonably adult, responsible manner.

Never, not in ten years except for his captivity, had he been forced to be so long without her by his side. If it was painful and unsettling before they began dating, now it was sheer torture. The daytime was dedicated to searching, searching, searching, keeping busy every second to avoid going crazy. The night was an achingly empty void that he could not tolerate. He knew drinking himself into a stupor would not be of help, but really, it made the nights just this side of bearable. He didn't know what he'd end up doing otherwise.

Sharing a bed with Pepper was one of the things he most looked forward to everyday. Apart from the love-making, which was the most intense and mind-blowing he had ever experienced, her presence, her smell, the sound of her breathing … they were all triggers to something that expanded tenderly within his chest and made him … happy. He was happy.

He was _happy_, and he hadn't been happy in a long, long time.

Tony had worked out this routine for himself over the years of relentless short-skirt pursuit; charming and banging them was okay, but _sleeping_ with them? Never.

Not a chance, even if they happened to be smarter than the average IQ his playmates possessed.

That was good. It was safe. It protected him. And it saved him a hell of a lot of unwanted hassle – turning them out of his bed and his life for good, never to return – and saved him time he could be spending doing the next most exciting thing.

So when he found what he now had with Pepper, it was like coming up for air again. She had shown him a whole other side to what life could, and should be like.

Considering his habits, logic dictated that sharing a bed with Pepper post-coital would not be a comfortable experience for him. By all accounts, he should be restless and his sleep should be fitful trying to reclaim complete possession of a night space that someone else had encroached on.

But it wasn't like that, and none had been more surprised than himself; although JARVIS had expressed his utter astonishment at the unexpected development (however much astonishment an AI as developed as even JARVIS was could be capable of).

Instead, she was the one who had to rapidly adapt to this new situation. Because even in sleep, his body had an uncanny homing-in, heat-seeking system built in that always allowed him to find her. And despite the fact that he loved having lots and lots of space around him as he slept, his body wrapped itself unerringly around her own every night. He didn't mind. Not one bit.

It had taken a few nights of trial and error for them to find comfortable sleeping arrangements. Tony obviously didn't mind wrapping himself around her like an octopus from hell, but he was sensitive to even the smallest movements, so if she stretched a leg, he'd tighten his hold on her reflexively, which would cause her to wake up.

The bed he (crashed on, he could not sleep for long) occupied now was large, and cool, and so, so empty. His nights were lonelier now than they had ever been. And it cut him up inside. The very fibres of his body couldn't seem to find a single comfortable position for long. And a primitive part of him kept angrily demanding for his mate to return, it clamoured for her to be lying next to him again. This was one of the hardest things for Tony to try to live with. He had always been selfishly possessive of Pepper's attention and her time, but when she became his girlfriend this side of him seemed to have made the proverbial transition from the pan into the fire. He couldn't help it, though goodness knew he tried. With Pepper it was always want, want, want – and mine, mine, mine.

So scotch? A sure-fire way of dulling the ache somehow, even if only for a little while.

* * *

><p><em>Day Two<em> -

Word had spread in the small town not far away from his ranch. Everyone was dying to find out more, but the security guys handled it fine. The reporters had taken up to haunting the ranch's main gates, but the ranch hands were expert in this field too, and the estate was kept intruder-free.

The pendant did not seem to do anything more than mock him with its mere existence.

And if he cursed at all, Tony did it silently.

* * *

><p><em>Day Five<em> -

The housekeeper must have slipped some kind of relaxant into his dinner, which she'd forced him to eat anyway, because he slept all night and woke up when the sun was already high in the sky.

Though he was furious, he could not deny that he had truly benefited from the rest, even if it was forced upon him.

He sent the housekeeper and her kind, hauntingly blue eyes packing for the rest of the day. Shutting himself up in his office, mostly brooding and cursing it all, only Brady had the courage to approach him – and that was something, considering that he was still not a bearer of good news.

* * *

><p><em><span>Day Eight<span>_ -

Tony drank.

He drank first thing in the morning.

He drank as he scoured the fields like a caged tiger.

He guzzled alcohol at lunch when one of the hands' horse got too close to him, and he shouted so bad that the guy immediately pulled the horse further away in case it became jittery.

He swallowed mouthful after mouthful during the rest of the day and at dinner as the sounds of theWyomingevening air – so foreign, so wrong – encroached on his ears.

When he overturned a coffee table in the main parlour, it felt good.

His fingers cradled the neck of the bottle as he lay sprawled on his back, one arm held over his eyes, which were scrunched up tightly to stop the tears.

Rhodey had called Pepper's phone that afternoon, because Tony wasn't talking to him.

That's when the unfortunate table got damaged.

And he fell asleep, hazed in his drunken stupor, to the repeated sound of her voicemail, the phone pressed tightly to his ear. Her voice in his ear gave him the sharpest kind of pain he had felt in a while. That night, Tony realised how much of a wreck he'd become in the short span of a few days, and that he was irreparably lost without her.

Want, want, want.

He sobbed in the darkness and felt utterly wretched for it. _Men don't cry son, not ever, remember that…_

_Pepper_, her name became his personal prayer, _where are you, Pepper?_

* * *

><p><em>Day Twelve<em> -

… and by now her voicemail was the only thing that kept him somewhat grounded. He was terrified.

He was terrified … because he'd woken up that morning and had realised he couldn't remember the lilting nuances of the sound of her voice so clearly.

The outside world was doing its best to get a piece of him. Tony the leading industrialist. Tony, the crazy rag-selling celebrity. Tony, the superhero.

But leaving that house was unthinkable. His only thought was-

Pepper.

Pepper…

_Pepper!_

* * *

><p><em>Day Fifteen<em> -

Breakthrough.

Oh please.

Ohpleaseohpleaseoh_please_!

He was heading out to a close small town in the pickup with Brady and another ranch hand to a horse fair. It seemed that a young mare fitting the description had been sighted.

The sudden spark of life that ignited was invigorating.

But it didn't last long.

The mare fitted the description … but she came with a few months-old foal.

After he returned to the ranch, Tony dismissed all the household staff again, and scoured the fields with a classic Harley that lived in the garage.

And at the end of the day, he couldn't seem to get the stink of horse out of his nostrils, nor wipe out the goose bumps raised on his skin.

* * *

><p><em>Day Sixteen<em> -

In which Rhodey flew out toWyoming.

And the second he was let inside the house, he yelled at Tony so badly, worse than he usually did … and Tony hit him.

In the face.

He honestly had no recollection of it whatsoever.

But he could no longer keep it all bottled up, couldn't keep the crazy secret anymore. Tony knew Rhodey smelled the stench of alcohol permeating his person. Rhodey was so disappointed that sparing him a lecture was unthinkable.

As soon as her name cropped up – and honestly, Tony couldn't remember how it happened – he broke down and burst into tears like a lost little boy.

Rhodey looked truly mad when Tony told him what happened.

And then he got up and started towards the door, disgusted beyond belief at the ridiculous story Tony had concocted.

But on his way to the door he happened to see Pepper's –cracked– Blackberry, and the fury that mounted inside him was enough to bring Tony out of his moping. And there was real hurt in Tony's eyes as he looked at his best friend, and asked him how he could think him capable of ever laying a violent hand on Pepper.

That's when her laptop was pulled out, and the video was played.

After a while, Rhodey could do nothing more but to concede to the unbelievable. JARVIS too had confirmed the story.

When Tony crouched onto his knees, gasping and shaking as he emptied his stomach into the wastepaper basket, Rhodey's hard squeeze to the shoulder fortified him.

They went over the search details in the late night, a large map of the territory spread on the desk before them, scribbled with red marker. Tony refused to discuss the horse issue with Rhodey, who conceded defeat for now.

They both retired, but despite Rhodey's vehement exclamations, he couldn't keep Tony away from the bottle.

And when the next morning he saw Tony's face, he did not comment, merely pressed his lips in disapproval and sent him quelling looks.

* * *

><p><em>Day Seventeen <em>-

…was much like its predecessors. JARVIS had signalled that there would be a fair the next day in a neighbouring county, but the chances of her being there appeared slim. Brady spoke to Tony halfway through the day, and reported that his cousin worked for a farm that dealt with purebred mustangs, captured fresh off the plains, and they'd get some news that very same day.

Tony thanked him, and pulled out the pendant.

Useless piece of-

He stopped himself, not sure whether the goddess could hear his thoughts even if she wasn't there; he probably shouldn't risk it. She'd made it clear that if he pulled any tricks, it would be Pepper who'd suffer the consequences. The risk was too high. He might not ever see her again.

A whimper escaped his lips at the thought, and he bowed under the tremendous weight of his grief, hands trembling as they covered his face. But the tears still ran. Pepper was the only woman who could do that to him: she was the only one who could make him cry.

The urge to bawl his eyes out like a hurt little boy was strong, but he didn't give into it. He needed to be strong, for her sake. He had to focus and remain alert, because he'd be damned if he allowed her to live her life as a—

He sniffled and blinked his eyes rapidly, trying to dispel the sting out of them. His breath hitched in his chest, painfully. Only one other time in his whole life had he been so dejected, and that was when his parents had died.

Fingering the pendant again, Tony got a sudden urge.

He didn't know what made him to it, really. It just felt right. He had never invoked her since her death, had found it unbearable for many years to so much as think of her name. But he was desperate, and so very abject with misery. He needed her.

He whispered as he looked down at the pendant, and put all of his feelings behind his supplication. "Mamma … I need your help. So badly. Please, help me find her. That's all I ask, is to find her."

Up until a month ago, he had not believed in anything to do with the things he was facing now. He could not have believed there was a goddess patroness of horses, who could hear and see anyone who had this pendant. He did not truly think that his dead parents were watching over him, that they could hear him, that they were still with him.

He hadn't believed in any of that.

But now he was forced to admit that there were realities he'd taken for granted as nothing but fantasies, that had turned out to be actually real.

And if it was all true … his mother could maybe hear her son's plea – the only one he had made of her since her death – and hopefully grant his wish.

* * *

><p><strong>End of part four. R&amp;R!<strong>


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: **This was written as a gift for the Valentine's Day Gift Exchange Challenge at the_ its_always_been_ community.

The prompt was chosen from a list submitted by the lovely marienomad. She wanted:

"... **_A fic involving Pepper being turned into a horse. She could not talk but Tony knows about it. She will not be a magical pony but a regular horse. If she's a regular pony, that's okay too._**"

**Disclaimer:** Because in the times we live in, you can never seem to do anything without some sort of copyright rain descending upon your head. IRON MAN and its characters are property of MARVEL and associates. The OC's and the plot of this fic belong to me. Don't sue, and don't plagiarise.

_**A big thank you to StarkObsessed and MissyMayhem, for reviewing and for supporting this!**_

* * *

><p><strong>PART FIVE<strong>

**.**

**.**

Day Twenty-

Tony had just returned with Rhodey from town, and he had barely shut the engine of the pickup, that Brady bounded out of the house and towards the driver's side, an excited look on his face.

Before Tony could fully comprehend it, Brady shoved a piece of paper into his hands.

Stunned, Tony looked down at it, a slow, joyous grin breaking over his face. His eyes shined with renewed hope and just a hint of tears.

The paper had directions to the farm Brady's cousin worked at. And there was a photograph, unlike the one Tony had taken from the video clip, of a horse that was so uncanny to—

"Oh, my God! It's her! We've found her!"

Rhodey leaned over across the passenger side, and he too grinned down at the obvious resemblance between the horse in Tony' photo and the one in the new photo. He patted his shoulder, relieved beyond words that they finally seemed to be getting somewhere.

He fervently hoped that this time would be the real thing, that it would really be Pepper. He wasn't sure Tony could handle any more time madly searching for her.

That night, Tony had been more like his jovial self. Rhodey was glad of this. The dinner table, with Brady and the other ranch hands sharing their meal, had been the setting of a much more relaxed environment.

As he and Tony took their cigar and whisky in the den, they discussed plans and strategies, contingencies. They didn't know anything about Pepper's state, which was rapidly becoming the more worrisome thought. They didn't know if the remembered who she really was, or if she'd recognised them. Indeed, they didn't know if she even knew that she wasn't a horse, but a human woman. Rhodey cautioned Tony not to expect too much just yet, and to focus on just finding her.

There was no sense in torturing himself again thinking these things, just after his spirits had lifted.

When they were both lazy with a full stomach, and relaxed in the cigar smoke, lulled by the excellent whisky of a rare vintage, they both sprawled themselves on the comfy leather sofas as much as they could. When Rhodey looked at Tony again, he saw that he was staring at a small photograph. From this distance, he could tell it was a candid shot of Pepper – and when had Tony gotten a hold of something like that? – and his face turned sombre.

The way Tony looked at the photo, and stroked her face gently with one finger, coupled with the vulnerable look of longing and loneliness on his face squeezed Rhodey's heart in sympathy.

He hadn't thought of it so explicitly yet, but it was in that moment that Rhodey realised – with startling clarity – that he was looking at a man desperately in love. Tony wasn't just pining for Pepper because he missed her presence, because she had been his constant in many years; Pepper was Tony's love. The only one he had ever had. And somehow, Rhodey didn't see his friend growing out of it, ever. In a way, Rhodey had always suspected that though Tony was the sex'em and leave'em type of guy, the day he'd truly fall for someone, it would be a once in a lifetime, for now and forever kind of deal.

His suspicions had been right.

He prayed his friend would find a way to put things right again, for his sanity. His happiness and his life were at stake here.

* * *

><p>Day Twenty-one –<p>

And Tony sat impatiently inside Mr. Gowler's kitchen. They'd headed over to the farm first thing after daylight, and the emotions stirring inside his chest spoke of anxiety and impatience.

His hands itched to do something, but for the first time in days he was completely stone cold sober. And though he was suffering slightly from the effects this had on him, his mind focused on what was important. Rhodey sat silently next to him, but Brady was chatting with one of the ranch hands.

Steps thundered on the wooden boards of the staircase just off the hall next to the kitchen. A teenage girl wearing jeans and a shirt, her hair wild and tumbling down her shoulders launched herself into the kitchen with a hungry look on her face, then drew up short in surprise when she realised they had guests.

Her mother greeted her and bade her join them. The girl politely said hello and sat down at the table, hungrily curious about these strangers, but trying to hide it.

When her mother explained that the gentlemen had come for the mustang mare, the girl's face drained of all colour. She looked devastated.

Tony was able to garner from the conversation that it was in fact the girl who had first encountered the lone mare out in the plains one day. She'd been so fascinated with her that she couldn't resist taking her home. Apparently the girl had had a run in with some wild big cat, and the mare, appearing out of nowhere, had spooked it away and saved the girl's life. For some reason, just looking at the girl's face, made his palms itch and an uneasy feeling stir inside his stomach. He didn't like the fervent quality in the girl's voice as she spoke of Pepper.

When it became clear that Tony had come to take the mare away to his ranch, the girl, who had looked utterly devastated, got a warrior's glint in her eye. And Tony knew then and there, that he was in for a long fight with this girl. But he did not care about possibly breaking the girl's heart. That was no ordinary mare, it was Pepper. HIS Pepper, his woman. And it was his own broken heart he cared about, so the girl would just have to accept things and move on.

Finally Mr. Gowler, accompanied by a ranch hand and his teenage son, who looked older than his sister, returned to the kitchen. The boy wouldn't look his sister in the eye, and there was an angry set to his mouth. His mother too looked a little worried. But Mr. Gowler was the only one Tony cared about, and his face was impassive, his strong features resolute with the decision he'd made.

Tony bolted out of his seat and thankd Mrs. Gowler for the coffee. He didn't even wait for Rhodey and Brady to follow him out, so impatient was he, his stride offsetting by far that of the other two.

He followed Mr. Gowler outside the house and towards the corral where they had kept the mare for the week – a whole WEEK! – she'd been here.

Time seemed to come to a slow halt. Tony's heart beat madly in his chest, and his arc reactor seemed to buzz more strongly, too, as though it, too, was affected somehow by this, though Tony knew it was technically impossible.

His eyes helplessly took in the horse that stood not fifty feet away. His stomach just about flew up his gut and into his throat. He could not tell what he was feeling at that moment, there were so many emotions and sensations ravaging him in that moment.

His disgust, his fear, and all the ambivalent feelings he had ever felt towards horses in his life seemed silent, and he didn't know where they'd gone.

But there, as he looked upon her, a new feeling blossomed into his chest, and this he had never felt before. It was warm and totally awe-struck, thrilling in its potency.

He didn't know it, but in that moment Tony's heart rearranged itself to accommodate that bond that men had experienced for centuries with their bonded horse. That special feeling of being complete, of connecting, of sharing one heart, one mind, began its beat deep inside.

Tony did not know it, but he was experiencing the kind of love at first sight that a man sometimes felt when they saw a particular animal.

There were two men near the corral, and one of them looked to be trying to mount the mare, as the other tried to hold her still by tugging on the rope that was connected to her curb strap.

The mare bucked and neighed loudly, thrashing madly, clearly not bowing to this situation.

Mr. Gowler growled at his men to let it go, just as one of them tugged viciously at the rope, and the sheer strength unbalanced the mare for a moment, and then she started thrashing even more wildly, clearly frightened out of her wits.

Rage threatened to consume Tony in a heartbeat.

Before he knew what he was doing, he started running towards the corral, a blazing look on his face. The mare kicked at the men and one of them went down, but she stamped her feet into the ground, hard, when the other tried to approach his fallen friend, thus getting closer to her.

"Jack! Get Grayson outta there!"

Tony entered the corral and immediately approached her. The men, who had taken refuge at the gate, warned him away from her, but he did not listen. His hungry eyes feasted on the horse, and without consciously knowing it, Tony's heart recognised her for what she was. She was his Pepper. His woman. She'd been lost, and now she was found.

And it was like the years melted away. He recalled what his mother had taught him about expression and body language.

And right now, though he knew it was Pepper, he didn't know if she recognised him. But he did know that the way the mare regarded him was wary and not all encouraging an approach.

He halted in his progress immediately, and his brain took over from his heart, despite the latter's demands to run up to her and _touch_ her. He knew he had to tread very carefully now.

His stance was relaxed, and friendly.

Not once did he tear his gaze away from hers.

Katy Gowler watched it all unfold with disbelieving eyes. The mustang mare had never let anyone approach her, and had never maintained eye contact with anyone. Katy had fallen in love with her the moment she saw her sheer grace and breathtaking beauty. And she tried to communicate this with her, but the mare had never allowed her anywhere near her. And now, her mustang was staring at the man – Mr. Stark, the man who had come to take her _away!_ – like she'd never done before in all the time Katy knew her.

Tony's face held the deep longing of being reunited with her again, but also the worship his own mother's face had held long ago every time she had looked at her beloved stallion, Redmane.

Tony spoke and he kept his voice low and soothing, trying to get her to calm down enough to begin trusting him.

"Pepper. It's okay, everything's gonna be fine. I'm right here, Pepper. Just relax, I'm not going to hurt you. You can trust me, you know you can." Tony slowly raised his hand and cautiously extended it towards her, seeking contact, a silent plea to form that bridge that would connect them. She tossed her head and backed away slightly, but then remained silent and stoic, standing her ground. Tony did not know how to describe it, but he sensed that if he did not overstep the line, she would let him approach.

Katy raptly watched, breath bated, as the man slowly got closer and closer. A large part of her hoped that he would fail, that her mare would halt him as she had done with everyone else. Anything so that he would decide not to take her away. Katy was sure she would get through to the mare eventually. She didn't want anyone else to have her.

The mare tossed her head and nickered softly. When Tony, whose heart was fit to burst, was five feet away from her, holding her gaze with his own, letting his body language soothe her and his eyes enthral her, his hand still outstretched in the air between them, he stopped, waiting.

"Pepper. Please, honey. Please give me a sign, tell me you understand, that you know who I am."

The mare cocked her head to the side slightly. Her fathomless eyes reflected Tony's face, and she seemed to gaze right through and into him, as though seeing things, secrets, no other could see.

Tony conveyed his longing, relief and desperate hope with his eyes, needing her to show him she was in there.

Katy recognised the signs, and almost giggled in elation. He was going to be tossed just like everyone else, the poor sod – but serve him right, she was _her_ horse, and she would stay with her-

And then her eyes widened and her heart betrayed its hurt by dropping to her stomach.

The mare slowly moved forward until his hand rested on her head, nickering softly, and then she stood still. Katy looked on uncomprehendingly, tears gathering in her eyes. This couldn't be!

Tony's smile was slow and joyous, and it lit up his whole face. He gently ran his hand down her muzzle, caressing her head and her ears, as though he'd been around horses all his life. His heart swelled as she maintained the eye contact, and he felt like she was trying to communicate with him what her mouth couldn't tell him. He brought his other hand up towards her, tangling his fingers into her luxurious red-gold mane. His arms went around her and held her, caressing her reverently, learning the curves and the textures, all alien under his skin. He brought his head to rest on her own, their foreheads touching, and he breathed her in, closing his eyes in utter relief.

"Pepper. Pepper…" He kept murmuring her name, and it was like whispering to a lover, not a horse. He knew her, he knew it was her, he knew she was in there. Somehow, they'd figure this out. He could take it, he was sure of that now. Now that she was with him again, he felt as though he could face anything, so long as she was by his side.

_Pepper, GOD, **Pepper**—_

_Love you so much, don't ever leave me again—_

And after days of agony without her, for a few moments Tony Stark had his Pepper again, and knew peace once more.

* * *

><p><strong>End of part five. R&amp;R!<strong>


End file.
